Being Present with the Dying: Decisions

_brain_surgeDeath’s imminence engenders a plethora of decisions, decisions that for the most part can be made ahead of time.  It’s difficult enough to confront these issues before we are dying and while they remain in the abstract.  Faced with such decisions while on our deathbed only adds to the emotional turmoil.

Some of these decisions can be stipulated in the necessary corresponding documents I wrote about in my last post.  Such decisions include if and when to start or remove nutrition and hydration, balancing levels of pain relief for maximum quality of life, and determining whether one prefers to die at home.  Although wanting to die at home often becomes out of one’s control, planning can help facilitate that likelihood.

NUTRITION AND HYDRATION:  Many of us equate the withholding of nutrition as starving the patient, or withholding of fluids as forcing the patient to die of thirst.  In fact, a patient is often more comfortable when these resources are withheld.  Intravenous feeding (TPN) or the use of a feeding tube are not analogous to eating; artificial hydration is not analogous to quenching thirst.  While artificial hydration and feeding are indeed helpful for getting through various crises, these considerations are irrelevant when the patient is dying.  Withholding these treatment options does not foster discomfort for the patient and may help lessen trauma during the process of dying.  In the final analysis, what is most important is the comfort of the patient, secondary is the comfort and peace of mind of his or her significant others.

PAIN CONTROL:  Because pain is subjective and difficult to quantify, the issue of pain control and pain medication is often fraught with conflicting attitudes, opinions, and feelings.  First, pain tolerance differs for each individual – some of us are more sensitive to pain and discomfort than others.  One must also take into consideration drug tolerance affecting levels of alertness.  Many patients desire a certain level of alertness – at least enough to communicate – and are willing to adjust their pain medication accordingly while others may want to be less aware.  Finding the desired balance for each person is optimal.  To complicate matters further, there are the needs and desires of family and significant others who may wish to maintain communication with the patient at the expense of the patient’s comfort.  It is important to respect the wishes of the patient and have those wishes take precedence over the needs of others, allowing one at the end of life as much control as possible.

DYING AT HOME:  While most of us would rather die at home than in a hospital or nursing home, the end of life is unpredictable and complicated such that dying at home is often out of one’s control.  When it is possible to die at home, there are many things to consider and arrange.  Perhaps the most difficult decisions revolve around whether to continue treatment and sustain life versus letting nature take its course.  The end of life is fraught with unpredictability and the forces of wanting to stay alive often conflict with the desire to avoid the hospital.  Everyone making this decision is working through a unique process and will come to a decision in his or her own way.  It is the role of caregivers to support and encourage the patient in whatever decision he or she makes. The knowledge and support of health care professionals are invaluable in guiding this final process.  Both palliative care teams and hospice programs offer such support and address the many issues involved in keeping a dying patient comfortable.  Both provide holistic guidance to help facilitate and realize the wishes and needs of those nearing the end of life and their caregivers.  Another post will discuss these vital programs.

2 thoughts on “Being Present with the Dying: Decisions

  • January 9, 2014 at 9:22 pm

    Thanks for this post. Very helpful and important info. My father’s health took a nosedive last August and I spent six weeks commuting to OH. Things went from independent living to emergency room to hospital care to nursing home to hospice status, and then his death, all in the course of those six weeks. Fortunately, Dad could make his own decisions all the way along and we had pre-paid for funeral home services (important to do for several reasons). A surprise for me along the way was that there are two levels of “Do Not Resuscitate”, at least in OH, which I was not aware of. My father’s Living Will did include DNR but did not specify which level. That turned out not to be relevant in my father’s case, but if you could touch on those differences in your next post, that might be helpful to some. Thanks again.

  • January 11, 2014 at 9:43 pm

    I like the way you spell out the importance of having the desires of the patients come first, in all areas. This can be difficult for family and friends because they are confronting the impending loss of their loved one, but adds a level of dignity to the dying process.


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